PSYCHO: A MEAT PUPPET BUILT FOR SLAUGHTER (B/X AND GLOG TOO)

[The following is an excerpt from a conversation between me and the other author:]

SORRY AS A SLICE WOUND, I DONT HAVE ANY GOOD IDEAS FOR THE USUAL OPENING TEXT BLURB.
Shut up idiot. You’re making a fool of us.
NO NO REALLY, WE GOTTA WRITE SOMETHING NICE TO ATTRACT THE LADIES.
I said shut up, you scare the ladies, they don’t like you.
HEY PRETTY LADY, WANT SOME NIPPLE SALAD?
Here we go again.

[Naturally, I was the one preparing the salad.]

SALAD REQUIRES YOU!
Krieg the Psycho by shrarm

IM SORRY I MADE THIS PLEASE DONT HURT ME

That was an horrible introduction. I’ll make up for it next time. In the meanwhile know that I know that everybody knows it’s shit.

I like Borderlands a lot. And I like Krieg a lot. This class was born from my desire to have some Borderlands aesthetic in my games, and to homage that wonderful mess that is Krieg by making something not so common in the OSR world: a reverse barbarian. What I mean by that is a character that, by default, can’t solve problems with his wits and mind and has to actually spend his limited resources to be effective outside of combat or at least outside of very dangerous and immediate situations. I don’t want combat to become the main focus of the game, I just want it to be a real constant risk just by virtue of having a big sociopath in the party. A bit like a family reunion: it’s all fun and games until your drunken uncle pins the dog down.

Not everyone is going to like such a combat-centric class in an OSR game (in fact, I’m not totally convinced it’s a good class but I’m far too tired to keep working on it and it kinda worked at my table) and it’s fine, since it kinda deviates from the usual OSR style thing. However, if you want to be a sociopath not only at your table, but inside your game, here’s the class for you. Your party can thank me later.

A usual party with a psycho.
Borderlands 2 Splash Art by Gearbox.

SEE THE NUMBERS TASTE THE VIOLENCE

Psychos are big balls of flesh, bone and rage who have forgone their sanity, with only a little bit of it left, pushing back from the most secluded places in their skulls. Just like my mother. They still feel loyalty and a need to protect those they care about, but for the most part they're just a collection of screams splashing gore around. Those that accompany themselves with Psychos are usually considered totally insane by others, and often have to prevent their crazy companions from doing very stupid shit like biting the ass of a sleeping rhino or charging straight inside an active volcano because their inner voice was sleeping. Psychos love and care for their companions, like a very special (and very big) child cares for his mother.

HP: as Fighter or whatever is the best option in your game 

Saves: as Fighter

Literally anything else besides special abilities: as Wizard

Loose beast: you are a reverse barbarian, you are always raging and screaming while a faint voice tries to hold you back; you effectively count as having 3 to all mental stats (and +2 up to a maximum of 18 to physical ones) and can’t do anything that requires patience or understanding, unless you are actively channeling your inner voice; you can be a calm and reasonable dude for up to one hour each day (with minimum increments of 10 minutes); you gain an extra 10 minutes every 2 levels. Your inner voice is still not the one doing the talking, so you’re gonna be a chill dude screaming about the beauty of slaughter and fishing with bacon.

Strip the Flesh: or every time you encounter something new you must Save or be compelled to attack the first living thing near your. Also, during combat, you are compelled to attack each round (friend or foe); if you can’t you’ll attack yourself as a free action (no roll to hit, just roll damage). Even if you attack, you’ll still inflict yourself a single HP of damage each turn. You’re a cross between a menstruating girl, a pitbull and a meat grinder: the only thing that can keep you interested is violence.

Salt the Wound: every time you hit and successfully put down something or someone, you recover d8 HP. A bleeding wound is a good reminder that you’re still alive, especially when you’re the one making it on someone else. But you didn’t need to remind that guy so many times.

Pyromaniac: when you’re on fire, all your attacks deal extra fire damage like a torch. You can only take a single point of damage from fire each round. Hitting things on fire makes you so happy that you automatically get an attack bonus equal to that of a Fighter when attacking them. That’s because you love the Firehawk more than you love yourself and you hope she’s keeping tabs on who’s keeping fires stoked.

Badass: when you’re downed, instead of being downed you get back up screaming like the badass you are, but only if you have some calm time left. You’re still at 1 HP, and you can’t go lower. You stay in this state for a round for each 10 minutes of calm time left. When it’s over you instantly lose all your remaining calm time, and recover 1 HP for every 10 minutes increment lost this way. Afterwards, all your physical stats will be reduced by 3 until you can rest. You’re shaking like a freezing puppy, probably rambling about eating a snake that’s eating you, constantly looking around like a paranoid android and so on. Being a badass is hard.

THIS IS NOW ABOUT THE PYRO
Team Fortress 2 comic by Valve.

GOBLINS ATE MY GOBLINS

As a GLOG class, the Psycho would look roughly like this:

A: Loose Beast
B: Strip the Flesh, Salt the Wound
C: Pyromaniac
D: Badass

Switch out “Pyromaniac” and “Badass” as needed, if you want (for example, if someone plans on taking only 3 Templates and then multiclassing), as Pyromaniac is fun but it really is not anything core to the “walking jukebox of profanity and death” experience (in fact, it is just a Borderlands reference).

It might be a little too “combat-centric” for GLOG design philosophy, but I like my design rules how I like my diet: totally disregarded when I feel like it.

He did it because he loves you! Kinda.
Team Fortress 2 comic by Valve.