The Waxmaker: Beehive Incarnate

Between the Granite Halls and the Hillplains, a great road stands. Dusty feet of a thousand of Mankind’s finest and lowest alike have walked it, to meet the marvels of the Lord on the Hill and bring back news of such beauty. But sometimes dust gets muddy with water, when the wind blows from the Black Swamps to the north and brings dark clouds; and sometimes dust gets muddy with blood, when the highwaymen dare the Lords’ Cordon from the south and bring hunger and steel.
But neither blood nor water was found near the caravan. Only beeswax, and the footprints of many coming in and few coming out. No blood, no corpses and no signs of a fight, only molten wax and a swarm of bees hovering upon an abandoned wagon…

Unknown from the Internet.

Mud and Blood:

Zulal was born in the ghettos of the Ironmurk, the only city of the Scintillating Bay. He learned the value of life and death at an early age, and was forced into the Wilds almost as soon as he could walk. Nobody thought he could survive. He learned the art of bushcraft and learned to pick his fights. He learned the essence of death, and was touched by the Arcane Winds moved by a Feral Murkdweller in the middle of Nowhere. That’s where he noticed it. The winds didn’t touch him alone, and were not made by the feral. They were all-touching, and the fish-man was but a mere spectator pretending to be the director of the play. The bees showed the way the wind blew. The hive showed to truth. The hive was the truth.

He is always accompanied by The Swarm. The Swarm will always follow him closely. The Swarm cares for him, just like he cared for the Swarm when he gave it life.

The Swarm cares.
Wax Golem by epicprivate.

The Swarm:

The Swarm appears as a small army of melting wax men. This is not what the Swarm really is.
The Swarm is the mind behind the Wax Simulacra. It sees everything the Simulacra see, and care for the Hive as a whole. Every member of the Hive is protected by the Swarm. Outsiders are hated. Those that are hated are killed and fed to the Hive.
The Swarm doesn’t fight. It cares for the Hive and provides food for it. The Simulacra do just that: they jump at the enemy, absorbing it and slowly suffocating and crushing him to death. The suffocations takes 5 turns.
The Simulacra are weak to heat. Being near a strong heat source makes impossible for them to fully engulf a man. Attacking them with weapons has a 50% chance of making the same damage to the engulfed victim. Attacking them with fire sets them on fire, killing the Simulacra in 3 turns but risking setting the engulfed creature on fire afterwards.

He's watching you.
Wax Head from Dark Souls 3.

The Hive:

The Hive is a small house on an hilltop, kissed by sun and the moon, and just big enough for a small hunter to live in it.
Actually, that is just the entrance to the Hive. The real Hive is beneath it: the hill itself has been carved and emptied, and giant pillarcombs keep it in place. The hive is mainly inhabited by bees; other insects can be found but are not welcome. Most of the ceilings and walls are covered in beeswax, while the floors are usually covered in dead insects, rotting honey and loot from those unfortunate enough to have met the Swarm.
There are 3 main floors on the Hive: the wooden house, the Upper Cells, and Worker Bowels.
The wooden house is just that: a wooden house, cabin-sized, on top of an hill. Under a rug, a small trap door and a ladder lead down to the Upper Cells: a small maze of corridor, running around two main rooms: the Chamber of the Queens and the Observatory. Scattered around there are a few other laboratories and cages, of little consequence. The cages are always empty. The Swarm never takes prisoners.
The Observatory is a big circular room, with a large hole in the middle encircled by a wax railing. It overlooks the middle of the Worker Bowels, and is the only actual opening to it. There are no stairs and no rope to get down.
The Worker Bowels are a different deal. There are no stairs leading down. There are no real rooms, only ever changing walls of fresh beeswax. Most of the Swarm rests here. The pillars upon which the Hive is based on rest here. The treasures that Zulal and Rory have accumulated throughout the years rest here. The bones of the unfortunate victims of the Swarm rest here.

The Hive.
Houses on the Hill by Pablo Picasso.

The Road:

If found wandering around, Zulal will approach the party amicably, even if he is clearly a problematic individual. A beggar covered in rags head to toe, talking to insects and air. He will try to stop the party and entertain small talk, offer lunch, ask for help and anything else to keep them in place were they are for some time.
The Swarm will never be far, and will arrive very soon. Zulal never leads by more than half an hour of march away. Upon the arrival of the Swarm, Zulal will declare himself as That Which Was Born of the Wind, and will pretend surrender of body, soul and belongings of everyone else while the Swarm marches over consuming people alive.

A Magician in a Beekeeper’s Hat:

Zulal is a Level 2 Pack Rat, which spent both his Advancement Points on Spells. He is an Hexer, who is Doomed to see the Swarming Souls of the Self each time the Arcane Winds blow the wrong way.

Despite coming from Ironmurk, he is no Murkdweller, but a purebred Troll. He hates those slimy lizard with all of his darkened heart, and if there are any in the party he will immediately irradiate hostility and will make sure to gut him personally like the half-fish he is, after the Swarm has arrived.

He is a magician. His Grimoire is a small collection of wax candles, held together by an iron spiky ball that impales them all; they don’t burn and are not consumed by heat. It contains 3 Spells: Wax Simulacra (turns bees into wax golems), Luciforms (draws flames away from their source and around the caster), and Goliath (turns the caster into a crazed Xenomorphesque monkey).

Like this but with troll tusks.
The Pain from Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

He will always cast Wax Simulacra each day just before preparing his lunch, so he functionally has only one Spell Point each day (unless caught before 11 am). He will avoid direct confrontation and will avoid using his last Spell Point unless really pressed to or unless meeting a Murkdweller.

When his hand is forced, he will cast Luciforms to catch all the flames that could menace his Swarm and then order the assault. He will use the flames to shield himself from any who get too near. If he is caught away from the Swarm, caught in the morning or meets a Murkdweller, he will cast Blackblood and rush towards his enemies holding a Hikkalan Sword (all Hikkalan weapons are decorated with removable boneshards, which remain in the hit target making wound treatment harder)  which he looted from an exotic caravan. He never wants to resort to Goliath, since using it reminds him of the circumstances where he found it, among the crazed Goblins of the Black Swamp, worshipping their cruel Orc-like shaman as a God.

After the fight, if there are any Murkdwellers, he will take out his ritual kukri made from a single metal bone of an Iron Leviathan, and gut them on the spot, making sure to scatter their entrails around as much as possible. He will try to do this while they are still alive, if possible.

Fucking fishman.
Kuo-Toa from the Forgotten Realms.

Magical Engines, Mechanical Arcanas:

Hexer (Occult Profession):
Hexers use Occult Catalysts to control the flow of fate. Creating a Catalyst takes 10 minutes. Catalysts can either be Totems or Dolls. Both can either reduce or increase the Difficulty of any check by 1. Totems work in a 30’ area, affecting everyone (friend or foe); while Dolls only work on a single target. Dolls require a small quantity of blood from the target to work, which can be gathered with an attack (inflicting 1 Affliction). Catalysts always weight like 1 item.

The Swarming Soul of the Self (Doom):
Your body numbs and your vision becomes multi-faceted, as if you were starting to see from a million different eyes. All over your face cracks open, like hornets nest, from which a swarm of insects flies out, holding your soul inside them. You control this swarm for the next 1d20/2 (d10) hours, during which the swarm slowly disperses as you feel your body once again. After the Doom is over, you retake control of your body. While in swarm form, you can’t carry more than a single Item worth of weight, and can’t make complex actions like using a weapon or picking a lock.
Scar: the cracks from which your soul swarmed out remain on your face, and hornets can sometimes be seen fling out of them.

The only good fishman is a gutted one.
Scene from The Simpsons.

Wax Simulacra (Spell):
A single insect is focused on by the caster, imbibing the power of the Swarm in it. The insect bursts, leaving a wax cocoon behind. The cocoon grows into a humanoid shape in the following hour, becoming one of the Swarm. It moves with the will of the Swarm, and is not bound to the caster.
It can be empowered, to have the cocoon grow instantly.

Luciforms(Spell):
The caster chants the song of Fire and raises his hands, causing all flames in a 500’ radius to raise themselves, flying a dance around him. All possible fire sources (including fireplaces, torches, and lanterns) in the radius have their fire removed. Each fire starts circling around the caster, who can at any time snuff one out or throw it towards any enemy. Throwing it requires an Action, any number can snuffed out with a single Action. After 10 minutes, all the remaining fires go out on their own.
It can be Empowered, causing 3 flames to rise from each fire in the area of effect, and allowing the raised flames to last 8 hours.

Goliath(Spell):
The skin of the caster turns dark gray, while his veins blacken and swell as if they contained liquid charcoal. For the next 10 minutes, the Strength score of the caster is 18. Every time he receives any kind of weapon damage, a gush of blackened blood sprays outwards all around him, inflicting equal damage of acidic nature to anyone in a 5’ radius.
It can be Empowered, growing black spines and a dark carapace on the caster. It now counts as having Heavy Armor without any of the maluses associated to it (and splashes acidic blood as if it was naked, even if he doesn’t receive the same damage).

Really, FUCKING FISHMEN
Murloc Raid art by Blizzard.

Dungeons & Dummies: Blood & Power, or How to Master the Arcane Arts

*DISCLAIMER*: this whole project and especially the magic rules look suspiciously like the SEACAT rules in the Ultraviolet Grasslands by Luka Rejec. This is totally by accident, unless Mr Rejec read my mind and ate my dreams of making the best ruleset ever, which I cannot in good conscience totally exclude (would explain why I stopped dreaming about games and started dreaming about everything bad I’ve done in the past year or so).
Anyway, check out the Ultraviolet Grasslands. They’re better than anything BWG will ever make.

If my words don't convince you I'm sure this cover will.
UVG Introduction by Luka Rejec.

If I don’t break down crying this time you’ll have a complete game perfectly working. Mostly working. Almost working.
This is how I run Magic and Spells. It's heavily inspired by Logan's Maleficarum, check it out if you haven't already.

I'm pretty confident this rules could be easily adapted to other ruleset if one wanted to. Feel free to do to so, and let me know if they were any trouble for your players.

These rules are somewhat dangerous, and if followed I'm pretty sure nobody in their right mind would ever try to cast spells, especially considering how lethal small blunders can be in my system. Usually, my players are not in their right mind so those rules just make everything much more interesting.

Wizard and his Skull Grimorie.
Occultist from Darkest Dungeon.

Point Me to the Spells:

Spells are ways to tap into the arcane and conjure the unthinkable out of sheer nothingness. Characters can cast any Spell that they want, as long as they have access to them.

Digression: Arcane powers are not occult powers. I make a big distinction in my games between them, but this is not actually very important and if you feel that it's  not suited for you games you can easily ignore it. It's almost totally a fluffy distinction (that is somewhat enforced by the rules by occult Profession but you can easily handwave it).

Spells are procedures, of both actions to perform and thoughts to hold to. These are stored in various forms and ways, usually very personal and diverse. A collection of up to 3 Spells is called a Grimoire. Grimoires can be books, collections of rat skulls, inscriptions on metal plates and so on. Each Grimoire weights like 1 item.

Casting a Spell requires an Action and a Spell Point. Characters have no Spell Points by default, but can gain some if they have Levels. Casting a Spell from a Grimoire that wasn't written by you takes an extra Action to find and fully understand it.

A character can always forego the use of a Spell Point by taking an Affliction. This always consumes an extra Action, and always risks causing a Doom.

Digression: Dooms are explained below. It's basically a very fancy way of calling a miscast, but they are also much more since they last like scars and I run by assuming people is scared shitless of magicians and other who dabble in Arcane matters.

Spells can be empowered by expending and extra Spell Point. Empowered Spells have different effects.

Extra digression #1: my basic assumption is that magic is a fundamentally unknown and extremely scary/showy business. I check for Morale and hostility when a spell is cast, with both enemies and hirelings having a chance of running away. Magic is something so esoteric and outside a normal person's possibilities that casting a spell is felt like a contact with something totally unnatural and beyond reality. I plan on expanding on that someday with my spin on level drain shamelessly stolen from Basic Red.

Extra digression #2:I have not thought about spell research rules yet. I actually do not want to include them, because spells are not something to be researched in the safety of your home but something to be found in the depths of the Heart of Darkness that are the Wilds and the Dungeons. People come back changed. Magic is a possible reason.

That's a little bit what happens here.
Source unknown.

The Dooms of Parnassus:

Dooms are unleashed when one fails to harness the Arcane energies. They are destructive for the unfortunate ones who fall prey to them, and for everyone around them.

Dooms have an immediate, terrible and short-lasting effect, and a permanent magical scar that lasts forever. The scars are unnatural and unnerving, and make most people uncomfortable just by looking at them. Those who know the nature of those scars are usually very hostile or very friendly to the unfortunate marked ones, depending on their attitude to Magic.

Digression: these are basically miscasts, magical mishaps or however you prefer calling them. They are meant to change the rules of the game for a certain time and force you to live with the consequences of the terrible sin of Magic. They leave permanent scars that forever mark you as Magic User, and even to those oblivious to the existence of Magic still feel very off and scary.

Each creature mad enough to try their hands at manipulating the Arcane has its own Doom. The first time you would be victim of your Doom, randomly roll for it. Every subsequent time, you always fall victim to that Doom you first rolled.

Digression: note your doom on your sheet. This is to speed up play, but it's not something I'm 100% behind. It would be silly to have people with a thousand different magical scars though, so maybe it's better like that.

Whenever you risk unleashing your Doom, make an Intelligence Saving Throw. If you pass it, you don't fall victim to it, otherwise the Arcane energies flow beyond your control and take hold of your very being. When you unleash your Doom, you lose the spell you were trying to cast.

You risk unleashing your Doom if at least one of the following is true:
-You cast a Spell you’ve never cast before
-You take an Affliction instead of using a normal Spell Point
-You cast a Spell from a Grimoire not written by you
-You cast a Spell that must be explicitly cast as part of a Ritual

Digression: lots of possible causes. They don’t cumulate, you still make a single Saving Throw and that’s it. It wouldn’t feel fair to make you roll for failure.

Dooms are no joke.
Panel from The Demon n.10 by Jack Kirby.

Here are 2 example Dooms:

The Calcareous Trumpets of Light:
Your eyes blacken and melt, leaving your eye sockets empty and each occupied by a bone tube with a small pearl in the back of it. The pearl progressively grows in the next d10 (d20/2) hours, becoming new eyes perfectly identical to the old ones. While your eyes are reforming, you are completely blind: you can only see calcareous deposits (like bones), ignoring completely all the other objects and materials in sight. You are effectively blind except you can see items made of bones, and creatures with bones in their body (which are the only thing you can see). They still need to be lit as usual to be seen.
Scar: Your original melted eyes remain on your face, like mascara ruined by crying. It can never be washed off.

The Left Hand of Fate:
Your left hand shrinks, as if dried, and feels like charcoal to the touch. It becomes independent from you for the next d4 (d20/4) hours, animated by an arcane wind. It has 1 of 4 objectives chosen randomly each time (d4, d20/4):

1. Injure you and others, it attacks once each 10 minutes inflicting an Affliction (either on you or on somebody near you).
2. Prevent metal items from being used, +1 to the Difficulty of each check involving metal items, and they are always subject to Wear when used.
3. Steal heat from this world, it throws itself (and you) on every fire and heat source in close proximity, you take an Affliction and make a Dexterity Saving Throw to not fall in it and catch fire.
4. Bring everyone back to the Void. It will whisper spell fragments, causing everyone in a 120’ radius to risk unleashing their Doom if they try to cast a Spell. You have to make an Intelligence Saving Throw every hour to not involuntarily cast a random Spell from your Grimoire. If you do, you immediately unleash the Doom of a random creature up to 120’ away from you.

You can’t do anything that requires 2 hands until the Doom is over.
Scar: your left hand comes back under your control, but its appearance does not revert.

Digression: your eyes go DOOT DOOT (you can only see the bones of your friends, no facial expressions or clothes, and you can’t see anything else at all) or your hand wants you dead (in many funny ways). Both are pretty bad things in the middle of a dungeon. Both are scary to witness and both leave ugly scars that you will probably want to hide from others and from yourself, if you’re anything like me. So both are pretty good Dooms overall.

Rituals require patience and courage.
The Condemned from CHIN CHIN'S RETURN by Filthy Frank.

The Ropes of Ritualism:

Spells can be casted as parts of a Rituals. Spells casted in a Ritual never unleash a Doom if the ritual is completed correctly. A Ritual requires a day (8 hours of work) of preparation for each Spell Point used in the Ritual, and requires the participants to invest at least 3 Spell Points each day in it. For every 3 extra Spell Points invested each, the final spell gets an extra Spell Point.

If any of the participants invest Spell Points by getting an Affliction, they risk unleashing their Doom. If that happens, all the progress of the day is lost, and the Doom is normally invoked. No more than 1 Spell Point can be invested that way, however by instead receiving a full Injury 3 Spell Points can be inserted.

The Ritual can be sabotaged, attacked or interrupted. If so, when the Spell is cast, every participant risks unleashing his Doom, and the Spells risks being subverted or corrupted.

Digression: no explicit rules for corrupting spells or disturbing rituals, because I want to see what people comes up with when the local cult is unleashing Cthulhu. Maybe a spell corruption table would be nice, but I’m too lazy for it right now.

At the end of the Ritual preparations, it can be performed anytime as long as the group preparing it does not move away from where it was prepared. Performing a Ritual takes an hour for each Spell Point to be casted. Some Spells can only be casted safely as part of a Ritual.

In order to cast the Spell as part of the Ritual, it must have been fully and properly copied on the Grimoire of one of the participants, along with specific instructions for the Ritual casting of that Spell (which take up space as a single Spell). Spells that can be only cast safely as part of a Ritual don’t have an additional set of instruction for that.

Extra Digression #3: expect Ritual-only spells to use a lot of Spell Levels and have scaling effects accordingly. If they are cast outside a Ritual, they should be limited to a single spell level (and cause your Doom). Also expect some to have a minimum number of Spell Points to be casted, because you can’t just summon mini-Cthulhu.

Magic items are the keys to the door of greatness.
Pyromancer from Dark Souls.

Conduits and Catalysts:

Some items can become conduits for Arcane powers. These items are known as Catalysts. Catalysts can take any form and have any function (including no function at all, like a wooden stick that blows bubbles out of one end).

Catalysts are difficult to recognize as such. They have no discernible quality until activated, except for maybe some eccentricity left by their maker.

Activating a Catalyst usually requires knowing its true nature, and focusing on it to control the flow of Arcane energies. They are usually imbibed with Spell or similar reality-defying effect. They require an Action to be activated if you know their activation method.

Once activated, a Catalyst can either be used to channel its powers (usually it has a limited number of uses) or it can be drained of power to receive a single Spell Slot. Drained items can’t be used anymore. Some Catalyst are only used to store Arcane powers, and have no practical use beyond that.

Catalysts of immense power.
Venerable Dreadnaught from Warhammer 40k.

Digression: this is the true reason why seasoned wizard go around with useless magic junk. Even a belt that shows sparkles when you wear it becomes a source for that single extra spell you will use to defeat your archrival.

Extra digression #4: Ancient Catalysts of course tend to house ancient forgotten dangerous spells, so they are really sought after, while “newer” ones are rare and usually do just stupid stuff (if they actually work at all). No crafting rules for now for the same reason as spells. Also, make something up for uncovering the true nature of Catalysts. I guess a “Discover True Nature” spell would be in order. I was actually planning of making it part of my level drain rules, but since they aren’t there yet I guess you’ll have to make do.

I wonder why the fuck I’m still alive:

Spells and other Dooms will come as I write mage guys. You had no idea in what shape those few simple concepts were before I wrote this post, so please bear with me. I will dump a few other subclasses, then I will probably start writing actual interesting stuff now that everybody knows how I roll.

Dungeons & Dummies: The Professionals (4 Specialist Subclasses + 1 Occult Profession)

Specialists are guys you call when you need to get the job done. Ocean's 11 kind of jobs. They are the masters of the mundane, their abilities make them better at exploiting mundane items and make the best out of difficult situations. While they might no be able to kick like a mule or take hits like a heavyweight champion, they are absolutely vital to any expedition.

The right guys for the wrong job.
Frame from Ocean's 11.

Packrat:
Packrats get maluses every 4 items carried instead of every 3.
Capstone: Packrat get maluses every 5 items carried instead of every 3.

Digression: I expect packrats to be an integral part of every party, since I expect people to try and avoid being over encumbered as much as possible. They are as useful as a pack animal but better since they can do much more and don't run away as easily.

Tinkerer:
Tinkerers can make small devices and traps with a mundane item, in 10 minutes. They can set up to 5 activation conditions. The devices trigger the item used in their construction (such as a sword for attacking). They break after 1 use. Any check is made as if the Tinkerer made it.
Capstone: devices get Durability 0. They get Wear instead of breaking.

Digression: MacGyver + an IRA bomber + me playing with LEGOs. A dream come true. Given enough time and items, I'm pretty sure this guy could make a big mess on its own. Or he could mess up activation condition and get bonked in the head by his own clockwork device. Either way, this is bound to be funny.

Expert:
Experts get an extra Skill Point per level.
Capstone: Experts instantly get 3 extra Skill Points.

Digression: boring but very practical. Classic skill monkey. Neeeext.

Taskmaster:
Taskmasters can help and coordinate people to complete their duties. They can get another person to participate in any Action (using an equal amount of time and actions), getting themselves +1 Skill as long as the assistant has a relevant skill.
Capstone: Taskmaster can manage small teams easily. They can get others to bring their expertise in anyone's task, as long as all three of them (Taskmaster included) commits the same amount of time and actions.

Digression: I think I never wrote explicit Aid Another rules. If I ever do, I should remove the Taskmaster or heavily rework them to focus on that mechanic. However that sounds complex and I want to avoid classes being good at "standard" actions, so I feel that having somebody explicitly able to do this is a better idea overall. 

Occult Profession time!

They're a bit like that, but alive and very dumb.
Poppet image from Wikipedia.

Woodlord:
Woodlords have learned to hear the whispers of the wood, hidden in its veins and bark patterns,  spoken through its inner rings. They have observed and listened to the conversations of the wood long enough to whisper back, convincingly enough to make a little wood mimicry animals.
They can take 10 minutes to whisper to a small piece of wood, like a plank or a stick, infusing energy and life into it. The awakened wood is known as a Poppet. Poppets live for 1 hour, after which they crumble apart in sawdust. They also die if hit with a single Affliction. Poppets have 2 actions, and each can carry 3 items worth of weight. Many Poppets can coordinate to accomplish complex tasks or carry more weight; if the weight ever exceeds 3 item per Poppet they all break down under the item they're trying to carry.

Digression: disposable, single use companion to be used as cheap retinues whenever they're needed. They can run into traps, trigger mechanisms and so on. Remember however that they weight much less than a normal character, and as such can't be 100% trustable when they walk over pressure plates  (which might be easily set to trigger for the weight of a normal human). Basically, Pikmin if you hated Pikmins.

Dungeons & Dummies: Man Takes Up The Sword (4 Martial Subclasses + 1 Occult Profession)

Here are a few Warrior subclasses. They are good at punching, avoiding being punched and punch-related stuff in general. Their abilities tie in combat, and aren't usually too helpful outside of it. And never forget that the threat of violence can be as effective as violence itself.

The following stuff (design rule and format) is the same for the Specialists, so when I take the time to write down a few I won't repeat those.

Subclasses design rules:

1. 2 abilities: one is the basic one earned at lvl 1, the other is a Capstone ability earned at lvl 3.
2. The abilities should be at the very least related, if the Capstone ability isn't a straight upgrade of the basic one. 
3. Abilities should strongly define the playstyle and role of the character. A Stormtrooper should be very different from a Barbarian, despite both being Warriors.

Format for Subclasses:
Name:
Basic ability description .
Capstone: capstone description.

Digression: the usual lovely textblurb of suicidal thoughts and design analysis.

Let's get started, shall we?

Here they are.
Frame from The Warriors.

Brute:
Brutes can sustain an extra Injury. They don't get any malus from their first Injury.
Capstone: Brutes don't get any malus from Injuries.

Digression: big bouncers guys who can take more than an hit. Won't stop until they're bleeding their brains out from their noses. Always handy, especially considering how frail characters are in this ruleset.

Barbarian:
Barbarians can enter a Rage freely. During their Rage, they reduce the Difficulty of their attacks by 1 and increase the Difficulty of any incoming attack by 1. During the Rage, they must get close and attack the nearest creature, friend or foe. Ending the Rage requires an Intelligence Saving Throw. At the end of the Rage, a Barbarian gets a +1 Difficulty to every check and can't Rage for 1 hour.
Capstone: Barbarians don't get tired at the end of the Rage anymore, can control themselves during it and can end it freely.

Digression: a little bit on the complex end of the spectrum for Subclasses. Could probably be worded much more simply. Primal rage, utterly emotive and psychologically frail kind of guy, not exactly a Conan-esque übermensch.

Boxeur:
A Boxeur unarmed attack counts as a normal weapon attack. With an action, he can switch his attacks between a Small and a Standard weapon. Boxeurs can take an Affliction and make any attack against them a failure.
Capstone: switching attack type is free. They can make their unarmed attack work like a Big weapon by taking an Affliction.

Digression: probably a little bit on the weak side, I know. But they can't be disarmed at all, and due to not needing weapons they have a few free extra items in their pockets (also boosted by having a built-in Shield). That should be a good enough boost to justify its existence I hope.  Their main gimmick is being versatile at the cost of health, since that's what boxing is about according to my sensei. 

Deadshot:
Deadshots ignore Armor when using ranged weapons against unaware opponents.
Capstone: Deadshots consider any enemy they attacked in the previous round with ranged weapons unaware.

Digression: lethal sniper assassins. A mix of Agent 47 and Martin Riggs minus the martial arts stuff.

That's too little for a blog post. Here is an Occult Profession to make up for that.

Soulinker:
Soulinkers are men who channel their will into lesser creatures, subjugating them and raising them above others of their kind. They trade the freedom of animals for power and kinship.
A Soulinker can undergo a bonding ritual, which creates a relationship between him and a single, non-sentient creature, making it his Bond. He cannot have more a Bond at a time. The ritual takes 6 hours, during which the creature must be at the very least not actively hostile.
After the ritual is complete, the creature is now Bonded. It gets +1 Fighting and +1 to a chosen Skill. The Bonded Creature actions are chosen by the Soulinker.

Digression: as Oprah would say, "YOU GET AN ANIMAL COMPANION, AND YOU GET AN ANIMAL COMPANION, AND YOU GET AN ANIMAL COMPANION". Since Classes are much more succinct, some things that in other games would be part of a few classes should be separated and independent, especially when they could easily fit many archetypes. That means that it's probably a good spot to fill with an Occult Profession. Just add weird, evil-sounding extra elements and it's ready to use.

Dungeons & Dummies: Activities, Combat and Equipment

Oh boi, this is going to get a little bit messy. Not as messy as Magic, mind you.

A little foreword: I’m going to use the same style of my first post about this, so rules + digressions. I swear all the rules stuff is going in a nice document someday. Hopefully soon.

If you know a little about D&D you'll recognize most numbers here. This should make filling any gap I'm too lazy to fill myself easier.

That's what we're talking about today.
Chainmail by Gary Gygax and Jeff Perren. No idea who made the picture.

Turn-based Chaos, a Crash Course:

Actions are resolved in a structured manner. Exploration actions take roughly 10 minutes, and are used for actions such as picking locks, disarming traps, and moving inside dungeons. 10 minutes is usually what it takes to make 4 times your normal movement in feet while carefully mapping and moving slowly (usually, 120 feet is a room or a corridor segment) or 3 times as much moving carelessly.
Exploration turns are resolved simultaneously.

Digression: I don’t plan on using the term “Exploration Action” anymore, it’s much easier to just write “this takes 10 minutes”. Most Occult Profession actions, for example, take 10 minutes (or multiples of that) for this precise reason. Also I don’t run your games and I don’t know how populated your dungeons are, so remember to add Random Encounter Tables rules on your own (hopefully, something interesting and slightly different for each dungeon).

Combat turns are much faster. Each combat turn is an handful of seconds. Each group of combatants has its own turn. Turn order is decided by each side rolling a d20, and going from highest to lowest. Actions inside a turn are resolved in the preferred order by the whole group.

Digression: I found out I love group initiative. Everything is better: it both allows to make more interesting plans and speeds up turn resolution. Helps keep everyone on their toes, and everyone has much less downtime since they have a say in how to better face each situation (this is also greatly enforced by how frail and limited single characters are, cooperation is the key to survival in hostile environments).

Each character starts with 3 Action to use during their group’s turn. These are reduced by encumbrance. An Action can be used for single, simple thing like moving 30 feet, making a single attack, casting a spell, taking something from your inventory or anything else that can be completed in no more than a few seconds.

An attack against an aware opponents usually has Difficulty 1. Attacks against unaware opponents have Difficulty 0 and on a success immediately fill all the Injuries of the target, forcing a Strength Saving Throw to not die. You count as unaware if you have 1+Fighting opponents around you, or just Fighting if you are unarmed. Allies counter opponents.

Digression: gang up and kill. Only true Conans can fight 4 people at once and emerge victorious. Watch out for when you meet one. Note that this rules only apply to humanoid or otherwise “normal” opponents.

Fighting unarmed counts as a fighting with a Small weapon, except you can’t catch unaware opponents with it, you only inflict 1 Affliction on a Success, and nothing on a failure.

Don't be that guy.
Fallout 4 Fan Art by unknown artist.

Walk Softly and Carry a Lot of Stuff:

Items have a weight and an encumbrance. For every 3 items you carry, you incur in increasing maluses. Some items are bigger than others, and counts as many items carried (like big weapons or tents); while some others are much less significant on their own and count as a single item up to a certain threshold (like arrows).

Digression: encumbrance needs simple, significant and punishing rules. It is the single most important factor that is ALWAYS overlooked in games, because it is always perceived as just boring math that changes your movement speed a little. That is not true when the focus on the game is where it should be in any good OSR game: exploring and living fantastical places, that keep pushing you and consuming your limited resources. That’s also why dungeons are so inherently interesting: they are almost actively hostile places that ask you to make interesting choices every minute. Deciding how much food you’re going to carry in an expedition is the first of those choices, and if you don’t keep track of the weight you can get in with you are stripping yourself of an integral part of the game.

After 3 items, you lose an Action per turn. After 6 items, you additionally get +1 Difficulty for every check you make. After 9 items, you lose another Action per turn. You can never carry more than 12 items worth of stuff on yourself alone. You can drag up to 24 items, but you move 10 feet per action this way and are always unaware during combat. You can stop dragging freely during your turn and return moving normally, declaring which items you leave behind.
A sack with 50 coins of any kind weights like 1 item. Roughly humanoid figures such as characters weight like 9 items (plus the weight of all the stuff they're carrying).

Be practical.
Unknown Survival Backpack.

Digression: dragging rules can be important. You can double your carriable weight at the cost of being unable to do anything apart from crawling around. This can be crucial when somebody is knocked out or when you’re trying to maximize the loot you’re carrying. Also, this makes actually organizing a true expedition, with retinues and helping hands, important on all levels of the game and not just for overland travels. The idea of the party being more than just 3 random sociopaths but an actual functioning expedition of tens of people is extremely thrilling for me, and gives space for retired characters to stay relevant even if they don’t dare the undergrounds anymore.

Items have a Durability and a Wear. Durability a measure of how much an item could keep working under stress; Wear is a measure of how much the item needs maintenance. Whenever an item is used improperly, or after some time, it gets worn out and must check if it breaks. This works like a normal check with Ability Score 10. Wear is the Difficulty, while Durability is the Skill. If the check succeeds, the item increases its Wear by 1, otherwise it breaks down.

Digression: nothing lasts forever, be it your love or your sword. Use your sword improperly (like I use my love) and it will last even less. That’s important to know, a nice and steady supply of swords might be just what you need, especially if you plan to stay light and not bring an extra crowbar. A successful expedition isn’t only determined by how strong you are, but also by how much resources you can commit long term.

Durability is determined by the item material (Wood: 0, Steel: +2, Glass: -1) and the quality of the item (Masterwork: +1, Cheap: -1).

Without proper maintenance, items get wear from time and environment. At the end of each day, the items that have been used and that did not receive maintenance check for Wear. Any item that has not been properly conserved (such as those carried during travel) checks for Wear once a week. Items in a secure place don’t check for wear.

A character can take care of up to 3 items worth of weight during his normal rest. A character spending a day fixing stuff can take care of up to 12 items worth of weight. A character with a proper workshop (like a forge) can take care of up to 24 items worth of weight, and can remove all wear from a single item. Characters can pool their efforts to take care of more complex items.

Digression: that’s another spot where retinues can become crucial even if they are not specifically a part of the ruleset. That reminds me that I didn’t explain Morale rules, but don’t worry they work exactly like Durability and Wear.

Not complex like that, I swear.
DayZ weapon chart from Reddit.

Weapons of Small Destruction:

Weapons are divided in 2 kinds (Melee and Ranged), and each kind has 3 categories, depending on their effectfullness.

Melee weapons can only be used in close quarters (5 feet). They can be Small, Medium or Heavy.

Small weapons inflict 3 Afflictions upon a Success, and have a 50% chance of inflicting 1 Affliction on a failure. They can be easily hidden and used unexpectedly in melee and unarmed combat. They can be unsheated as part of an attack, possibly catching an opponent unaware at the start of an engagement. They weight as 1 item. They are mostly small, potentially lethal weapons like short knives, brass knuckles and so forth.

Digression: small weapons are the least powerful. However they can be used while grappling, that's a big plus. And they can be a really nasty surprise if the enemy haven't seen them. I have no idea how to handle grappling right now. They weight like a sword because they take extra effort to hide them.

Standard weapons inflict 1 Injury on a success, and 1 Affliction on a failure. They are the most common kind of weapons, and are wielded one handed. They weight as 1 item. They are common tools of war like swords, hammers, and so forth.

Digression: this should be the most common kind of weapon around. Expect most people, especially war-ready ones, to carry one of those in the form of a sword. That's what every grandpa has over their fireplace in the old house.

Man takes up the Big Weapon to shield the small wound in his heart.
Berserk Colorized Panel by Kentaro Miura.

Big weapons inflict 2 Injuries on a success, and have a 50% chance of inflicting 1 Affliction on a failure. They are heavy, bulky, unwieldy and frankly improbable weapons, and impose an extra penalty of +2 Difficulty on checks made with them. They weight as 3 items. They are imposing weapons, almost always custom-made, like Zweihanders.

Digression: Big weapons are meant to be a rare sight, especially outside real armies. Think of them as the Dragonslayer from Berserk, except almost nobody fights 2-handed for pragmatic reasons. If you see someone with one of those, you can be quite sure they're not in their right mind. 

Ranged weapons can attack from afar. They take +1 Difficulty for every 60 feet in optimal condition (outside, with no extreme wind and in broad daylight) and +1 Difficulty for every 30 feet in any other condition. The extra Difficulty is always rounded by excess. They only inflict damage on a success. Ranged Weapons can be Traditional, Advanced or Firearms.

Traditional weapons inflict 1 Injury on targets with Light or no armor, and 3 Afflictions on everyone else. They have a maximum range of 180 feet in optimal conditions and 90 feet in other conditions.. Taking the ammo, preparing it, and firing is usually part of a single Action. The weapon and 10 shots weight like 1 item; every extra 15 shots weight like 1 item. They are simple weapons like bows and slings.

Digression: these are the most common, easier to use Ranged weapons. For all intents and purposes, most creatures except big crustacean or something like that will probably be considered as Light armored, so they are good for hunting and so on. Ammo is much lighter than other ranged weapons too, and that's very significant. 

As Advanced as it gets.
Crossbow randomly found on the internet.

Advanced weapons inflict 2 Injuries on target with Medium or worse armor, and 1 Injury on targets with Heavy armor. They have double the maximum range of Traditional weapons, and halve the range penalties. Their ammo is heavy, and requires an Action to be taken and reloaded before firing. The weapon weights like 1 item, and every 5 shots carried weight like 1 item. They are complex weapons like crossbow.

Digression: these are better things. They hurt like a breakup when you're psychologically frail from work, and weight like one in your backpack too. The increased ammo weight and the extra effort to shoot are significant enough to avoid bringing them if not needed.

Firearms inflict 2 Injuries on everyone. They completely ignore Armor. They have no max range, but double all the range penalties due to being unwieldy and rough. Reloading a firearm takes 10 minutes, in order to clean it properly, measure the black powder and load it in. They get Wear every time they are used. Each Firearm weights like 1 Item, and each shot weights like 1 item (due to having to keep everything safe and dry).

Digression: I like firearms, in a Pirates of the Caribbean style (or sorta magic wand style), deadly last resorts. They should probably cause a roll on the random encounter table. Also, make them explode in the face of the user when they break, like a Bugs Bunny's cartoon.

Beatiful and damned, like his armor.
Knight Artorias the Abysswalker from Dark Souls by From Software.

Armor Up:

Armor makes characters harder to hit. Better Armors negate some damage from attacks. There are 3 categories of Armor: Light, Medium, Heavy.
Worn armor doesn’t count towards carry weight. Every armor except for Heavy ones takes 10 minutes to be worn or taken off. You can't benefit from rest while wearing an Armor.

Light armors increase the Difficulty of any attack by 1. They also increase the Difficulty of any movement-related check (like climbing or swimming) by 1. When not worn, a Light armor weights like 1 item. They are usually little more than reinforced pads on clothes, with maybe a metal plate near vital spots.

Digression: I expect most parties to use that kind of armor. People can feasibly move around with it even in particular environments like caves. Also they weight very little when not worn.

Medium armors increase the Difficulty of any attack by 2. Apart from the malus from Light armors, they also make Swimming impossible and impose an extra +1 Difficulty on any check where you roll against Dexterity. They weight like 3 items when not worn. They are proper armors, like chainmail.

Digression: these are serious protections. They should be common enough, but should be the best anyone has access to outside of custom-made work to do professional warfare only. Still, they impose some hefty maluses that can make dungeoneering and traveling difficult.

A modern Heavy Armor.
Tachanka from Rainbow 6 Siege by Ubisoft.

Heavy armors increase the Difficulty of any attack by 2. They also ignore the results of failed attacks, and make any weapon attack like a weapon of a worse category. They have all the maluses from Light and Medium armor, and they also halve movement speed and make every movement-related check an automatic failure. They require two assistant to be taken on and off in 10 minutes; with only one assistant the process takes 30 minutes (an Armor step up every 10 minutes); you can’t wear one alone. They weight like 6 items when not worn. They are custom made, extremely thick, full-plate armor, the kind that only a noble or a king could normally afford.

Digression: these are… very situational at best. They are the non-plus-ultra for combat protection, but the movement maluses alone should more than make up for it. I don’t expect many people to use this. A guy with an armor like that is a force to be reckoned with, but can be bypassed by lateral thinking and uncommon tactics (flood the room, run away, climb a rope). Even if you constantly take it on and off as needed, the weight alone should provide a serious challenge to any party.

Shields must be carried in one hand to be used. They can make any attack an automatic failure. Shields get Wear when used. A shield weights like 2 items.

Digression: Shields Shall Be Splintered is a fantastic rule. This is my take on it. I expect Shields to become a commodity almost as important as food, and I expect most Shields to be disposable wooden ones. Probably shields are more useful than armors, but they are also a non-renewable resource that will be consumed much more so I'm ok with that.

Definitely on the bad side of the spectrum.
the sleepy spectrum by tiny snek comics.

I Need Sleep:

Fuck that's a lot of text . I'm sorry about that. Last post about this was well received so I decided to rush a bit the next ones, to allow people to have a better understanding of my whole idea and to give the bare minimum to let everyone play they version of Dungeons & Dummies. Unless you're really into magical mishaps summoning the laments of dead children in the form of a bleeding gnome, you should be set up for trying a few sessions I think.

Dungeons & Dummies: Breeding Perfection (4 Races + 1 Occult Profession)

Arnold K among others gave me the first insight into what makes a good traditional RPG race. So first and foremost, if you want to understand why I made what I made, you should read that. It’s much better than any essay I could hope to write on the matter.

I'm pretty sure you don't need Dungeons & Dummies to use these races. Feel free to use them anywhere, and let me know if I did an halfway decent job and they're actually interesting.

I've got 3 main rules when designing races:

1. They are not going to give numerical bonuses. Nothing should give numerical bonuses at all actually, make everything an incomparable (not just races).
2. They should have strong synergy with themselves. They should have the power to radically change the playstyle of the whole group. Imagine if nobody ever needed to breathe anymore? Or could fly? Now that's a very different way to tackle challenges.
3. They should be useful as one offs. The party should never force a playstyle on each member just because they don't feel like buying rations anymore. A single member of an exotic race can and should still be a useful addition.

I'm going to standardize a little my format here, since I want this to be a quick-access race dump:

Race name:
Race ability.
Little physical description.
A little lore because I love coming up with that stuff.

Digression: because I love explaining myself and I think it helps me better understand what is going on in my head.

Typical humans doing typical human stuff.
Frame from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Humans:
Fuck humans. Humans are boring.
Humans live in clean cities and pursue the goals of Civilization. Fuck those guys, they have nothing to do with adventuring.
Humans’ mothers are hamsters and their fathers stink of elderberries.

Digression: fuck humans. Be an interesting dude instead of a +1 Skill Points dude.

A typical orc doing a typical Orcish greeting.
Fel Orc by Blizzard Entertainment.

Orcs:
Orcs never need fresh food and are immune to poison and disease; they can eat anything remotely organic and be fed without complications.
Orcs are reddish pig-men, with thick hair on their heads and faces and white fangs always popping from their mouths. They are slightly shorter than a man, and in the middle of their faces a big mole-like nose with 4 nostrils is their most recognizable feature.
Orcish nature is defined by loss and war. That's their link with the Divine. Legends say that the first Orcs were spawned from the blood left behind by the first war. The nomadic clans value loss in battle over everything else. They are a bloodthirsty plague, always scouring the land where they walk. Only young Orcs have name: true warriors lose pieces of their names in battle, until they either die or become War incarnate. Orcish legends have no names, and their songs have no words.

Digression: Orcish culture is one of my favourite things I have ever wrote. It's a giant pastiche of warrior culture tropes, actual philosophical theories and my own psychosis. I will make a post only about it someday. I'd love to see a scenario about Orcish sieges and wars, since their supply lines can't really be broken.

Portrait of a Dwarf.
Image from default tileset of Dwarf Fortress.

Dwarves:
Dwarves don't breathe at all. They can never pass out from lack of air, and are immune to any airborne toxin.
Dwarves are much shorter than a man. They are completely covered in thick hair, both males and females. They have no nose, and their hands have only 4 fingers, much thicker than those of a human. Thick hair grows all over their bodies.
The perfect underground dweller is not someone who can see in the dark, but it's someone who shall never suffer from the sulfuric fumes exhaling from the depths. A dwarf is the perfect underground dweller, building his home in a bioluminescent spot and his city in the Fungal Dome. Dwarves enjoy the cramped spaces of their mines-cities, but enjoy the thrill of the unknown much more. Nothing beats Dwarven pride in reaching new places, both physical and spiritual. Some say they made themselves as they are now from clay, to reach the Stars, but the Gods pranked them by stealing just enough dirt to make Mankind, leaving them short of reaching a stool.

Digression: mostly Tolkenian dwarves here, nothing too new. I just figured that underground, fresh air is not really very available, and so I thought that one of the most important things about an underground race would be the ability to breathe anything  (or no need to breathe at all). If I ever run a full underground campaign, expect a lot of pockets of poisonous gas around being opened by a careless guy with a pickaxe.

A typical Goblin reciting typical Goblin poetry.
Randomly found on the Internet.

Goblins:
Goblins vomit a seed each week. The seed can be planted, and after a week it grows into a level-less Goblin. Morale check to see if it is loyal to its parent.
Goblins are very tall, genderless, very thin and green. Their skin is actually a very compact moss that grows over a bark exoskeleton. They have no bones beside this bark. They have long pointy noses, mouths as big as their oversized heads, and two very small ears that look like broccoli on the top of their heads (really on top, like carrot stalks).
Goblins seem to be the personification of bad ideas: obnoxious,  fast-reproducing and hard to exterminate. Goblins are more akin to plants than to other humanoids. Goblin culture is genetically inherited: they have imperfect fragments of their parent's memories and thoughts; this mostly means they remember how their grandfather's farts smell and where is their home. There is speculation about them being an experiment by the Gods to make soldiers out of plants, but no real evidence of this has ever been found.

Digression: they sound like Yoblins, not gonna lie. However, I actually stole the idea from a friend years ago. Not from Arnold, at least this time. Apart from that, I like Goblins. They are disposable, and you are going to have a steady supply of retainers whenever you have a Goblin in your party. This is probably the only race which doesn't abide to my second design rule, but I don't have the heart to cut them from being a core race in my presentation. Big little green rascals, basically the Monty Pythons' version of a Xenomorph. I've got descriptions of goblin cities and ecology somewhere, they'll be a full blown post like Orcs someday.

A Troll lurking in the shadows, waiting for his prey.
Zul'Jin splash art from Heroes of the Storm by Blizzard Entertainment.

Trolls:
Trolls have incredibly fast healing. They recover 3 Affliction with a good night’s rest and recover a full Injury by resting a full day.
They are tall, muscular and their hue is mostly dark blue or not black; most are taller than 2 meters but all of them are visibly hunchbacked. They have big tusks coming out of their mouths.
Trolls are natural born stalkers, with little need for rest and no need for complex operations to patch themselves up. Their tribes mostly live in swamps and islands. Trolls usually don't enjoy the company of others, but have a predilection for practical jokes that end up with grievous injuries (usually that’s no big deal for a Troll). They are considered the greatest masters of ambushes and hit and run tactics, fueled by their stubbornness and their unnatural resilience that allow them to keep pestering their enemies for days as long as they can get a little respite to lick their wounds.

Digression: Trolls are probably the least useful race as a one-off. A whole party of Trolls has an incredible potential in optimizing time, since as long as they have supplies they can basically never take more than a day off. This will probably be much less true if the whole party isn’t composed exclusively of Trolls; the fewer the Trolls the less their ability will come in play (unless they are systematically the only ones taking Injuries, but that’s not very likely). I haven’t written much on Trolls, except for a few jokes and a few notable individuals, so I don’t think they will get their own cultural post anytime soon (but I still plan to do it). Yes, they are basically Warcraft Trolls. No, I regret nothing.

I feel like adding something here. Have an Occult Profession, they are very nice.

Soulcatcher:
Soulcatchers harness the lingering conntection between the soul and the freshly left corpse not yet tainted by decomposition and time, to gather the powers of those that are not anymore for use by those that are not ready to depart yet.
They can consume a fresh corpse (dead by no more than 30 minutes) and a full hour to create an Occult Fetish. They can also take 10 minutes to keep a corpse fresh for 6 hours. This can be done at will, resetting the 6 hours each time.
Occult Fetishes are eternal prisons to the earthly link between Soul and Body, keeping the soul anchored to this world and allowing to call for it when the need arises. Occult Fetishes can be invoked to harness their powers. Anyone can invoke an Occult Fetish if they know its true nature. Invoking an Occult Fetish can either grant an extra Skill Point for 10 minutes, grant a Spell Point to be used within 10 minutes, or allow communion with the original creature to ask a single question.
Occult Fetishes weight like 1 Item, and have -1 Durability. They get Wear every time they are invoked. They can take many forms, from talisman to totem, but they are almost always made from the perfectly clean bone, leather and flesh of the original corpse.

Digression: these are basically spooky pokemon trainers that deal in death, corpses and eternal suffering. I guess you now know why I don't think my work is suited for children anymore.

A Soulcatcher asking a dead enemy about his favourite colour.
Witch Doctor by Kashuse Nuage.

Dungeons & Dummies: A Formal Introduction

This was the original starting point.
Frame from Dungeons&Dragons cartoon by TSR.

This is the presentation of a short “fantasy heartbreaker” I wrote some time ago. I’m actually quite proud of it; it has some serious GLOG vibes and I hope I captured half of the simplicity and fun that Arnold K has managed to allow players worldwide to experience. Today I want to explain the basics of it. Some other time I’ll post some more interesting stuff like classes.

Now I’m going to digress a bit on its birth, skip to the end if you’re interested only in the rules. Also, I’m going to make some digressions in the middle of the text because I want to explain (first and foremost to myself) the thought process I used to make this thing. I’ll make a rules-only document if people are interested, since this post is mostly digressions. It will be more complete than this post of course.

My original intended audience.
Orc Child by Blizzard Entertainment.

First things first: I’m not sure if “Dummy” is a derogatory term, it seems to be the equivalent of one of the nicknames I use with my brother in Italian. Sorry if someone is offended by it, I don’t mean to offend anyone.
I called this thing “Dungeons&Dummies” originally because it was born with a very specific goal in mind: to be simple enough to be run for kids and by kids - but at the same time it had to be something familiar enough to allow the transition to more traditional games when (if) they wanted to.
I wanted to create something simple enough that I could run it with my little brother and his friends, and if they liked it I could handle them a few pieces of paper explaining the game, a bag of dice and tell them “Go and make your own fun!” (I’m absolutely not trying to get rid of my brother, I swear). As time passed and as stuff was made I realized that it would not be suited for kids too much, but I also realized I made something that was worth exploring.
It is a “pure” thing in my eyes, one of my dream RPGs come to life almost by accident: nearly leveless and very adept for running the kind of OSR-style things that I love. I actually have developed a bit of a theory about what makes good OSR-style things that I love, but it’s not the right place and time to explain it, so let’s go over the basics of the thing that I still call “Dungeons&Dummies” out of sheer laziness.

My most probable audience.
Ghost by Ghost (I guess).

Back to Basics:

The whole game only uses a d20.

There are 3 Ability Scores: Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence. You must assign to each a value from the following list: 6, 8, 10.

Digression: since I wanted everything to be as simple as possible, the 3 stats also double as saving throws and are meant to be interpreted in a broad sense (eg: Strength is to be used also for Intimidation with social skills). Maybe names such as Brutality, Finesse and Smarts are more representative of that, but I still wanted a sense of familiarity with the world most famous RPG. That’s also the reason for using a d20 instead of a more common d6.

Whenever you want to achieve something non-trivial and potentially dangerous (like attacking or climbing), roll a d20 and check it against the relevant Ability Score. You must roll equal or under it in order to achieve a success.
For more complex things, roll more than once (up to a maximum of 5 times), and if any roll fails the whole check fails. The number of times you must roll is called Difficulty.

Having Skills relevant to the check reduces Difficulty. The final number of times you must roll the d20 is Difficulty - Skill. This can actually make the check an automatic success if you go to 0 or below. Skills are broad definition that can be applied to many things, like a profession, but are not absolute: “Sailing” (for anything sea-related or navigation-related or for knowledge about boats) or “Mountaineering” (climbing, foraging, cooking with a campfire) are good example of Skills; “Magic” or “Anything” or “Picking Locks at Midnight” are not.

Digression: only roll if there is an actual chance for failure, and only for actually dangerous or otherwise uncertain things. And while even the best marksman in the world can make a mistake, this is not the real world and the gains in speed and player agency can be great. However, keep in mind that Skills are not that easy to acquire, are limited, and are tied to some choices made during character creation, so nobody can go over everything like a bulldozer. A useful thing would be a fast conversion table for common targets across the editions, eg: a DC 20 roll in D&D5 would probably be a Difficulty 2 check.

Saving Throws work like normal checks with Difficulty 1 and no Skill. They are fully based on the Ability Scores.

Digression: Ability Scores don’t grow. You’re gonna have at best 50% chance to deal with anything that forces a save. Choose your stats carefully.

Two Dwarves, not caring about the miasma from the other's unwashed beard since they don't breathe.
Screencap from the intro to Dwarf Fortress.

Classes, Races and You:

Everyone has 1 Skill Point and a Race. The Skill represents their profession.
Races are exclusive and give a single special passive ability, such as the ability to not breathe at all (Dwarf) or to eat anything remotely organic without risks (Orc).

Digression: I was really inspired by the ideas Arnold K had in his post about designing races. It is really good and offers some excellent insight. I want racial abilities to synergize with themselves first and foremost, and to allow alternative playstyles thanks to that: the Orc is an excellent example, as an all-Orc party never needs to buy fresh food since it can eat rotting carcasses and wood planks all of the time, just like a party of Dwarves can march in a river without any problem. However I also wanted them to work nicely as one-offs: a single Orc can still make a difference in a long travel, due to the sheer number of ration the party needs not to buy; a single Dwarf is still useful to pull a lever inside a room full of poisonous gas.

Adventurers and other important people have a Class and subsequently a Level. A Class has many subclasses. For each Level a character has an Advancement Point, that can be used to obtain a Skill Point or a Magic Point. The maximum level is 3.

Digression: I like low level adventures (actually, I love level-less stuff that remains relevant forever and I think it’s one of the best features that the OSR movement as a whole has, knowingly or not, brought to life), so it makes sense to sticking to what I feel is most interesting to play. The very low number of levels allows that easily, and the little changes between lvl 1 and 3 keep everything very consistent.

There are 2 main Classes: Warriors and Specialists. Each class has many Subclasses.
Warriors are the only ones that get the Fighting skill, and get 1 Point of Fighting each level. Fighting is used for everything fight-related (mainly attacking). They can’t grow any Skill besides Fighting past 1.
Specialists get 2 extra Skill Points each level. They can take any Skill besides Fighting. Their cap on a single skill is equal to 1+their level.

Digression: I’m not going to explain magic today, my drafts are too messy and so am I. Quick recap time. There are no mages or designated casters by design. There is a magic system that allows anyone with the right knowledge and tools to cast spells. This system is meant to convey a sense of danger, dabbling with magical forces is not something one should do carelessly, but at the same time it will allow anyone so inclined to work with them and to make marvelous stuff. Magical things are only found through adventuring, however. I think it gives some good Howardian vibes, or at least “adventuring out in the unknown” vibes.

Spot the Warrior among the Specialists
Star Trek: The Next Generation promotional image by Paramount.

Warriors level up by beating things with a Fighting score equal or better than theirs.
Specialists level up by using a Skill in a check with Difficulty equal to double that Skill.

Digression: I wanted a slight sense of progression, but I wanted it to be linked to tangible actions and I didn’t want levels to be an integral part of characters and progression (at the very least I don't want them to be as impactful as they are in other games). I think this is an acceptable solution, that still gives higher level characters a sensible edge without making them too different from lower level ones.

A third Class exists, that includes all the dangerous and really special things in the world. Those with such a Class have no race (their physical identity is part of their class), can’t usually choose an Occult Profession, and are too distinct from a normal human to be broadly categorized as such. They are fully defined by their Subclass (which is appropriately more interesting than a normal Subclass). An example of such a class is the Greathound, an extremely intelligent dog capable of sentient thought..

Digression: there is still space for Race-as-Class here. It allows you to make some really messed up things and I want messed up things to be part of any game. The Really Good Dog from Arnold K comes to mind, as does something like The Extras or The Clockwork Octopus by Against the Wicked City.

The many Subclasses of the Warrior.
Colorized Berserk panel by Kentaro Miura.

Subclasses, or the art of becoming an artist:

Each character with a Class has a Subclass. Subclasses are a set of two extra abilities, usually active in nature, gained at Level 1 and Level 3. For example, the Stormtrooper is a Subclass of Warrior that can attack freely at the end of a movement; at Level 3, it can attack at any point during the movement (effectively moving, attacking, moving again to up it’s full movement); a Subclass of Specialist is the Packrat, which can carry 3 extra items at Level 1 and 5 extra items at Level 3 (for a total of 8 extra items).

Digression: Subclasses are like Glog classes but with ketamine. They can be made up on the spot, since they are basically 2 thematic skills of different power (or a skill that gets upgraded). That’s a very important to me, since it allows people to come up with interesting concepts at the table and be able to effectively interpret one by boiling it down to one or two core factors. I was thinking about calling them Specializations, but it caused confusion with the Specialist.

At Level 2, each character gains an Occult Profession, a single supernatural ability outside of a normal person’s capability and a sign of the adventures he’s been through. For example, a Necrocrafter can make occult fetishes out of fresh corpses that allow him to temporarily obtain a special ability from a slain foe. A character can choose to forego an Occult Profession and instead boost all his Ability Scores by 2.

Digression: not magical in nature. These are cool, nice ways of spicing up characters, with useful extra abilities, that can help make your characters more distinct and give you more interaction with the world and the weird lore surrounding it. Or you can be the boring Fighter with +2 Strength, your call. 

Sticks and Stones:

Each character can have up to 2 Injuries. Each Injury is made of 6 Afflictions.
Each Injury will reduce speed by 5 feet and will impose a penalty of 1 Difficulty on every check made.

Characters naturally recover 1 Affliction for each night of rest, or 3 for each day spent fully recovering. Completed Injuries cannot be normally recovered this way; the only way to remove an Affliction from an Injury is a surgical operation: Difficulty is equal to 2 + the current number of Injuries. If the operation is successful, a character can rest for a full week and remove an Affliction from an Injury, allowing normal recovery afterwards; if the operation is a failure, a character won’t benefit from rest for a week, and will receive 2 additional Afflictions.

Characters that don’t eat a ration’s worth of food each day won’t benefit from rest and will receive an Affliction for each day they don’t eat. Characters that don’t sleep 8 hours a night will receive an Affliction for each day of continuous activity.

A tipical player character after a small skirmish.
Frame by Mad Max: Fury Road.

Digression: Injuries are harsh. That’s the way it was meant to be. Easy to get and very hard to live with. Keep in mind that there is no explicit healing spell, or at least no explicit default magical healing source. You’re gonna have a hard time if you consider your health as just a sack of replenishable HP. I think this better models the kind of game I want, where violence is always an option against anything but it’s always a meaningful choice, and where failure and damage are of very serious concern without creating messy subsystems to simulate lasting injuries. Also a knife fight is relevant for the whole game, not just in the first session, and that’s good: there is no need for escalation in order to create threats for the characters.

Characters with 2 Injuries that receive an Affliction have to make a Strength Saving Throw: passing the Saving Throw means that an Ability Scores gets reduced by 1, while failing it means that the characters is dead.

Digression: I haven’t thought of ways to recover lost Ability Scores, except maybe magical ones. I probably should, but at the same time I like retirement mechanics and I don’t like people always fighting to the death, and this seems a nice way of telling the players “maybe your character is getting too old for this shit”. Thus, for the foreseeable future, I don’t plan on adding ways to recover Ability Scores.

Extra digression #1: this post is too long for talking about how to cause injuries. Weapons and equipment will be covered some other day.

Extra digression #2: I was thinking of adding Aggravated Afflictions for special damage types (such as magical ones or fire) that need extra effort to heal. This however sounds a little bit too complicated for all this system and as such I have decided against including them for now. However this is something that I toyed with in my D&D games and have been quite successful with (Dragons don’t just reduce HP, they are extra badass assholes that reduce max HP by giving out aggravated damage that need special rituals to be recovered).

That’s all folks!
I think I wrote too much. Next time I’ll try to write something actually cool and hopefully short, I swear. Like some example classes for this thing, with extra “WTF” in them. A lot of things needed to run a game are still unexplained, so maybe I’ll take the time needed to complete them first (even if I really like coming up with Occult Professions so be ready to hear a thousand of them in the near future).

Frame from Looney Tunes by Warner Bros.